“I have read your e-book and I believe it is one of the BEST dating book out there. Before I found your website/ content, I was reading about the Red Pill and watching podcasts on Youtube. I know you and they are preaching about confidence but what you think about energy that they are talking about, of course I know if you got confidence that you will give good vibe when talking to people but they are talking about entering a club (for example) and that all people there notice you because of your energy, what are your thoughts about it?. My final question. I am from Europe and although I know men and women are biologically wired as you describe on you articles I would say that social programming is A LOT stronger here in my country (Croatia) than in USA, France for example, women are easier in bigger countries, I got tons of feedback from my friends when they travel. It’s very rare here that woman approaches you and chase you (it’s always the unattractive ones). I have no problems in attracting hot girls to me but what bothers me is that I know they want me but they are always expecting that I initiate everything (chat, drinks, approaching whatever you can think of, they always want few dates, meetings whatever, they won’t give it easy) when I ask them questions about dating like if you are attracted to me why don’t you approach or pursue and their answer is that they want to but they don’t do that because they are afraid that they will be too easy for me then.
Thanks for the questions. There are several parts, so let’s run through each:
“I know you and they are preaching about confidence but what you think about energy that they are talking about, of course I know if you got confidence that you will give good vibe when talking to people but they are talking about entering a club (for example) and that all people there notice you because of your energy, what are your thoughts about it?.” –It is true. I have experienced it many times, just walking in with the right attitude has created an atmosphere where girls have approached me. Now, to be honest, it usually happens more after I start interacting, but I have had it with no interaction. If you have the looks to back up that confidence, women WILL approach you. But when I am out, easily interacting with women and men, it creates a curious mystery as to who I am. The more girls that I talk to and flirt with, the more they get attracted, the more attracted they get, the more other girls want to know who I am. So, the truth of this energy of walking into a bar includes the interactions around you. I make it a habit of interacting with everyone – so if the bouncer is shaking my hand, the door girl is blushing from some sexual comment I made and the group of girls in front of us are all laughing and focusing on us, then a lot of the other people in the bar are going to notice. And that energy continues to build and pull more people in. But it all starts with your energy and interactions.
It is very rare for me to quietly walk in, not interact, sit in the corner alone and have a girl approach. I have to bring the energy with me to have the interactions.
“I know you and they are preaching about confidence but what you think about energy that they are talking about, of course I know if you got confidence that you will give good vibe when talking to people but they are talking about entering a club (for example) and that all people there notice you because of your energy, what are your thoughts about it?.” – It is true. I have experienced it many times, just walking in with the right attitude has created an atmosphere where girls have approached me. Now, to be honest, it usually happens more after I start interacting, but I have had it with no interaction. If you have the looks to back up that confidence, women WILL approach you. But when I am out, easily interacting with women and men, it creates a curious mystery as to who I am. The more girls that I talk to and flirt with, the more they get attracted, the more attracted they get, the more other girls want to know who I am. So, the truth of this energy of walking into a bar includes the interactions around you. I make it a habit of interacting with everyone – so if the bouncer is shaking my hand, the door girl is blushing from some sexual comment I made and the group of girls in front of us are all laughing and focusing on us, then a lot of the other people in the bar are going to notice. And that energy continues to build and pull more people in. But it all starts with your energy and interactions.
It is very rare for me to quietly walk in, not interact, sit in the corner alone and have a girl approach. I have to bring the energy with me to have the interactions.
“It’s very rare here that woman approaches you and chase you (it’s always the unattractive ones).” – I have never been to Croatia, so I won’t pretend to be an expert on your country or culture. With that, I have been to many other countries. I have seen the same social dynamics play out over and over, so I feel it is safe to say it is a human trait. You have the answer in your statement – it’s always the unattractive ones. Your social market value is above theirs, and if they feel attraction to you, they approach or chase you. It is the exact same with beautiful women. If they feel enough sexual tension and attraction to you, they will chase you. This is why being a challenge is so important. You are naturally a challenge to the girls you don’t think are attractive, but I bet your energy changes when you are dealing with a beautiful woman. This subtly pushes your social market value down compared to her – and this is something she feels.
It may take you opening her, challenging her, teasing and flirting then pulling back a bit all while flirting and teasing other women, but when she really starts to feel sexual attraction to you she will chase you. Every single time. And if she isn’t? Then her attraction for you isn’t high enough yet. She may be dating and sleeping with you, but if she isn’t calling, texting or wanting to spend time with you more than you want to with her, she isn’t attracted enough yet. Just keep amplifying the attraction and she will.
“I know they want me but they are always expecting that I initiate everything…” – When I first became a decent player, this frustrated me too. After a time though, I realized that by initiating everything I not only increase her attraction, but the attraction of other girls around. It builds social proof and helps you naturally boost your leadership personality. And as I said, once she is attracted to you enough, she will start initiating and chasing. You just have to really build that deep desire in her. Once you build the attachment with a woman, she WILL start chasing you. But it takes some time to get to that stage.
“I ask them questions about dating like if you are attracted to me why don’t you approach or pursue and their answer is that they want to but they don’t do that because they are afraid that they will be too easy for me then.” – First, don’t ever ask girls these types of questions. It makes you look insecure. In this case, they sort of gave you a real answer. The other part they aren’t telling you is they want a take charge Alpha – the guy that knows what he wants and goes and gets it. She has to feel deep, gut level sexual attraction along with you being focused on your own desires to be seen as an Alpha – and when she does feel this she will chase. Without some serious fame (like a rockstar or actor) it’s hard to be seen as an Alpha without initiating or taking control.
Now, a girl that see’s you interact with several other women, with all of the women feeling attraction and flirting back may be sufficiently interested to approach you and start flirting. This happens to me all the time. But keep in mind, I was interacting and flirting with other women and she saw those interactions. So even though I didn’t interact with her, I was interacting.
“Thank you for answering my questions, I can see things even more clearly now, I wish there were more people like you to help others to understand how things are really working in the world.”
Anytime, Czar Danya